Daydreaming
by LadyRegiBoom
Summary: Angst. Her hands lingered above the keys. Her mind drifted through her memories, whether they were pleasing or detestable. Her eyes, lost.


**A/N: I am writing this, even though I believe I'm a horrible writer. Inspired by Rain (Mika) and a bunch of sad songs.**

Her hands lingered above the keys. Her mind drifted through her memories, whether they were pleasing or detestable. Her eyes, lost.

She found herself in this state more often than she should, but then again, she couldn't find herself in reality. Neither felt right, but daydreaming found acquaintance with her. She had humbled into a self-loathing Gillian Foster. She didn't hate herself for what she was, but for her actions. She hadn't done anything, but she had accepted it, and she hated that.

It shouldn't have been this way, she should have kept strong, her will, herself. Where did it all go? She had been her usual self when she welcomed this. It hadn't been sudden, it had been logical, now it was just wrong.

Everyday she took everything that came, every single thing she saw. She had smashed that line long ago. She hated everything she saw, even if it was love.

She sighed, a faint smile crossing her face. People were so stupid some times. Everyone believes love does it all, like if it was this unstoppable force, like if it was God. She used to believe the same, but back then she didn't feel idiotic. It wasn't really idiotic, it was methodical. It was like throwing a dime, you never know the outcome.

A quick intake of breath made her snap from her wander. She realized she had been crying the whole time, she had been shivering. She wiped her cheek with her right hand and with the same hand she closed the computer. She put her shoes on.

When she was out of her office; bag in hand, coat on; he approached her. In his usual way he placer his arm around her back. She smiled apologetically and broke his embrace. As she walked, she didn't dare look back, she knew she would see his confusion. He didn't follow her either, she wondered what he had read.

She had hoped he would leave her alone, but she knew he would call, and he did. She picked up.

"Gill", he began, in a whisper. She trembled slightly. "What's wrong, love?" His voice felt like a caress.

Everything. She couldn't voice it.

"I can't talk about it now." Anger filled her heart, she felt like such a coward.

"Alright. Goodnight, love." She tried to avoid noticing, but she couldn't. She had heard the hurt, the cracking of a heart, she wasn't sure from whom though.

She went into her kitchen and poured herself a glass of white wine.

She didn't feel time, it just slipped from her. She didn't realize either if she had slept, but she was on the same chair, the same glass, the only thing that had change was the lighting. It was suddenly time to go back to work.

She knew she would be there, she knew he'll try to talk about it with her. Surprisingly, he didn't. He avoided her. Was it wrong that she felt relieved?

Days went by unhurried and painful as much as they could. Gillian suspected time was playing a trick, it was giving her some comfort, some optimism, only to twist it in the end.

It wasn't that she didn't love him, she did and that was when everything got complicated. Their relationship wasn't common, he depended on her, he would hurt her, he would be be possessive, he would run from her, he would come back. She would just take it, because she cared too much about people feelings, forgetting her own.

She opened her eyes to see the glassy wall covering every other object. She was crying, yet again. She was tired, sicken of everything.

She noticed a figure at the door. She hid her face, ashamed of the truth. He sat in a chair in front of her.

"I've waited." She breathed, trying to get force from air, hoping it would empower her.

"It's over." She heard it again, the crack and she assumed it came from both of them, or maybe from the door that had closed after Cal.

Amazingly, she didn't cry, she just sat there. Hands lingering over the desk, mind drifting, eyes lost.

**Now, that turned out to be short. Feedback is greatly appreciated. **


End file.
